Friends, let’s be honest with ourselves… we put a LOT of pressure on Valentine’s Day.
Seriously. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, there’s so much pressure surrounding this one day of the year.
Some of us disown the holiday and say we don’t care. And maybe you really don’t care (if you don’t, good for you! I admire your counter-cultural disposition), but I think most of us do, even if that care is buried deep down inside.
And some of us are pretty clear that Valentine’s Day can be tough. If you’re always single on Valentine’s Day, you might feel lonely. If you’re unexpectedly alone on Valentine’s Day, you might feel rejected. If your significant other fails to celebrate your love in the way you expected, you might feel hurt. And the list goes on.
But social media and movies and culture as a whole tell us Valentine’s Day is supposed to be something special. Instagram features beautiful photos of flawless couples whose love looks like it could never die. Movies come out that give us those warm, fuzzy feelings and stir desires in our hearts to find the world’s idea of true love. Advertisers show us boxes of chocolates and flowers and diamonds and I think sometimes we start to hear this as the unspoken (and hopefully unintentional) message: If you don’t get one of these things on February 14, you must not be worthy of love.
But here’s the truth, sister: you are already so worthy of love, and you have nothing to prove.
You know, Valentine’s Day tomorrow isn’t going to be my perfect day, even though I have a husband I love with all my heart. Seth’s working crazy accountant hours since he’s in the middle of tax season, so I’ll go to work and then I’ll have the evening to myself.
And honestly, February 14 doesn’t change all that much whether you’re single or dating or married. Trust me. I’ve had plenty more single Valentine’s Days than ones where I was in a relationship, and either way, February 14 is just another day of the year. It’s another day to choose love and joy and peace. It’s another day to be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ. It’s another day to live with intention and purpose.
So girl, if Valentine’s Day doesn’t meet your expectations this year, here’s what I want you to know:
You are loved, even when you feel most alone.
You are worthy of love, so much so that the Savior of the world rejoices over your life with song (Zephaniah 3:17).
You are fun to be around. People like you. You don’t need to be in a relationship for that to be true.
You are your own beautiful person. All you need to be whole is Jesus. You don’t need a man to complete you. That’s a pressure no one will ever be able to fill.
You are presented with just as many opportunities to love on Valentine’s Day as you are on any other day. Everyday you get this amazing gift of being able to share the love of Christ. And that gift is not just limited to February 14.
You are created just as you are because that’s how God made you. Please don’t ever feel pressure to act a certain way to try to fit society’s standards. God didn’t make you with a cookie-cutter; you are unique and wonderful.
Friend, you are onederfully created. Never forget that.
Love,
Becca
I remember many lonely Valentine Days, could have used this years ago. My husband and I are now retired and have great plans for tonight. It sounds like with all the time at work, your husband might deserve a Valentine surprise tonight.
That’s so wonderful that you’re able to enjoy the day and have some great plans for tonight 🙂 I agree, he absolutely does!
Thank you for this post. It’s such a good reminder of the truest source of love there is. Jesus is the only one who can truly fill the desires of our hearts.
Anna, thanks for reading! I think it’s such an important reminder for each one of us, regardless of what this day might hold 🙂
Thanks for the positive affirmations! 🙂 I’ve been single every Valentine’s Day until this year, so I’ve never held Valentine’s Day as an important day or anything. I think that’s helped me to not feel lonely. But, there’s nothing like some good galentine’s day fun to make the day even better!
You’re so welcome, Kayli! Thanks for reading! That definitely helps, the same was true for me before Seth and I started dating. And yes, Galentine’s Day is a great way to celebrate 🙂
Thank you for your post! In my younger years, the commercial acts of Valentine’s Day were very important to me. As I’ve grown older and closer to my Christian religion, I realize what the true meaning of the day is – a day set specifically to recall & show our love for others.
You’re welcome! Thanks for reading, Donna 🙂 It’s definitely a change in mindset to stop looking at Valentine’s Day as a commercial holiday and start looking at it as a simple celebration of love. But it’s so good when we can make that shift!
Valentine’s day doesn’t meet my expectations… because my boyfriend is going through a terrible period. his mom is sick, cancer. And all I want is to hold him and help him…But I can’t because we’re in a long distance relationship for 4 years and never met. In the end… it’s okay. It’s okay because I love him and he loves me, It’s okay because this day is not so important. Every day is the day to love. Nice post, great job!
Diana, I’m so sorry to hear that your boyfriend is going through a difficult time in his life right now, and the distance between you certainly doesn’t help anything. But I love your confidence that even in all of this, it’s okay. It is going to be okay, friend. You love each other and you are loved by the Creator, too. And like you said, this day isn’t so important, at least not any more important than any other day. Ever day is, indeed, the day to love 🙂 Thanks for reading!
Thank you for answering to my comment. 🙂 I hope and believe that it will be okay.
I love this! You are loved, everyone is loved. And I totally believe we don’t need a man to complete us. I believe only we are in charge of our happiness and while it’s great to find the love of our lives and feel that special love I think that probably will never happen if we don’t love ourselves first. I hope everyone can feel the love of how unique they are and how special they are to a Heavenly Father this Valentine’s day.
Thanks so much, Karie! I agree with you, it’s so important to love ourselves before we connect our lives with another person, because we don’t want to be looking to that other person to find our worth. That’s not fair to them, either. Our worth is found in our Father’s love!
It was a great post! I think for me V-day is a bit different because my birthday is the day before so I’ve come to really hate V-day as I never felt I could celebrate it. It’s either people have dates or are sad they don’t have someone to share the day with. And it makes everything expensive so I wouldn’t want to go out anyway haha. But as I’ve gotten older, I definitely don’t let V-day ruin my birthday and I’ve never had expectations for it. I feel loved every day so I don’t need V-day to make me feel special 🙂
Thanks, Kristina! That does definitely change things when your birthday and a holiday are so close together. But that’s so wonderful that you don’t let Valentine’s Day ruin your birthday, and I LOVE that you feel loved every day and don’t need a holiday like this to show you that. So good!
Thank you for this post. Valentine’s Day is all about love, that’s true. But, I think it’s also all about “showing off” and pretending that everything is lovely and rosy in the romantic department which we all know is not true all the time.
It’s so nice to be reminded though that I’m worthy of love no matter what. Roses will wilt and chocolates will just make me fat, anyways.
Love and Peace!!!
You’re welcome! Thanks for reading, Esmeralda. I agree completely… unfortunately, a big part of Valentine’s Day has become showing off. And yes… roses wilt and chocolate doesn’t last long either 🙂 Love and peace to you as well!
Thanks for this encouragement, Becca! Even when dating/engaged/married, Valentine’s doesn’t always live up to expectations. And even when we have realistic expectations, there’s still a lot of cultural pressure surrounding the holiday that’s hard to escape! I love your reminder that “it’s another day to choose love and joy and peace.” Thanks for sharing sharing your heart – your insight gave me a lot of peace.
You’re welcome! I completely agree – whether you’re single or in a relationship, you can still end up disappointed. And yes – SO. MUCH. PRESSURE. I’m so glad my words gave you peace. These reminders are so important for me as well.