One of the benefits of being born with one arm is that sometimes I can get away with really horrible jokes, and people don’t know how to react, and it can be pretty funny. People aren’t quite sure whether they should laugh with me or not when the punchline is about my lack of an arm.

My friends always laugh. They get it. Most of them have known me for years and years, and they’ve made a few of these jokes themselves. But people who don’t know me well aren’t so sure. It’s tricky. They don’t want to be offensive, but come on. These jokes are so bad they’re funny.

So here are some of my best one-armed jokes—well, I guess they’re all more like puns. And I promise you, if you want to laugh, I won’t be offended. And if you don’t want to laugh, I get that too. These “jokes” aren’t that terribly funny.

1. “Hey, can you lend me a hand? I actually need two for this.”

This is one of the easiest, because let’s face it, people use this phrase a lot! And I can usually get at least a chuckle out of this joke 🙂

2. “I paid an arm and a leg for this! Well, as you can probably see, really just an arm…”

Okay, I’m not sure if I’ve ever actually said this, mostly because I’ve never noticed a good oppotunity. But if I ever have the chance, I think this pun’s pretty funny.

3. “Need a hand?” “Yes, I really do need a hand!”

This is similar to the first one, but people do ask me a lot if I need a hand… not because they’re pointing out my lack of a right hand, but because it’s just a thing people say. And I can hardly resist responding with, “Yes! I sure do!” I specifically request a right hand, if available.

4. “I’ll lend a hand… just one though. That’s all I’ve got.”

It’s true. If anyone ever asks me to lend two hands, I’m going to have to say no.

5. “I can do it single-handedly!”

Whatever “it” is… yes, I can! Since I was born with one hand, I’ve learned to do everything single-handedly. I don’t even know what I’d do if I had another hand!

I hope you found some of these silly puns at least a little entertaining. And if not, it’s okay! I’m not offended either way. I just think there’s joy to be found in laughing at yourself from time to time.

But please, sweet friend, never forget… you are onederfully created.

Love,
Becca