Working with kids, I get lots of questions about my arm. I feel like I’ve heard almost everything before. A couple of weeks ago, one of the kids in my class caught me by surprise with her inquisition.
She was touching my wedding ring and then she suddenly asked, “Did you have one arm when you got married?”
I nodded and smiled, slightly amused. “Yes,” I said. “Like I’ve told you, I was born with one arm. I’ve always been this way.”
“Who are you married to?” she asked.
“His name is Seth.”
She touched my ring again, considering my words. She hesitated, but then finally asked the question she’d been wondering all along: “He still likes you with one arm?”
“Yes,” I said. “He does.”
I am thankful for a husband who not only loves me in spite of my differences, but loves me because of my differences. He loves the person I am because of how I was created. Seth often forgets I have one arm, like I do, but sometimes he notices. Sometimes he tells me how much he loves my little arm. He loves how it gives me determination and passion and strength. He encourages me.
There was a time not so long ago when I thought I’d never get married. I thought I’d never fall in love. Why?
I thought no one could ever love a girl with one arm.
I know it’s silly. I know there are lots of other people in the world with limb differences. I know many of these people have found love and are now happily married.
Still, I thought that because of my different appearance, no man would ever find me attractive. I didn’t really verbalize this thought, but I held it inside my heart to protect myself from what I viewed as inevitable disappointment.
Then Seth came along. What began as a friendship transformed into something much deeper as a crazy season of our lives drew our hearts together. With Seth, God defied my expectations and gave me a gift better than any I could have imagined.
So, how can you tell if he really loves you?
If he really loves you, he won’t just accept you the way you are.
It’s more than that. He’ll love you because of the way you are. He’ll fight for you to stay the way you are. He’ll comment on those characteristics that are unique to you and only you.
If he really loves you, he won’t just tell you that you are beautiful.
He’ll show you that you are beautiful. His actions will speak louder than his words. He’ll treat you in a way that reflects his affections.
If he really loves you, he won’t just push aside your anxieties and insecurities.
He’ll walk through them with you. He’ll be there to listen. He might not understand, but he’ll do everything he can to help. If your relationship is centered in Christ, he’ll gently point you to the cross on a path of healing.
If he really loves you, he will let you and help you be the best version of yourself.
I am thankful for a husband that really loves me. In the end, the best part is knowing that even in those moments I feel most cherished by Seth, that feeling is nothing compared to the love that the Heavenly Father lavishes richly on His children.
At the end of the day, the Father’s love is all that matters. A man won’t complete you. Jesus will.
So no matter what, child of God, never forget… you are onederfully created.
Love,
Becca
Even tho we are family and have not met yet, I do feel close to you.
Why, because we are both “children of the King and both married into a wonderful
Ray Family. Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Thanks for sharing, Janice! I love that even though we’ve never met, our kinship in Christ brings us closer together.
I have to say, I love the blog and this article. I agree that people don’t want others to change. What we fall in love with is the person they are. If we want them to change, it’s the possibility we are in love with. I am in love with someone because of who they are and what they are. THAT is what makes them special to us.
Please tell Seth I said hi and I very much miss working with him. I only worked with him a short time at Rea but I realized he was a blast to work with. Also tell him I’m waiting on his next video! 🙂
Take care and well done on the blog!
Mark
Thanks for commenting, Mark. It’s so important to be able to distinguish falling in love with a person from falling in love with just the idea of a person.
I passed your message on to Seth and he misses working with you as well!
I love this blog
Thank you, Ruth! I’m encouraged to hear that.
How very beautiful! We are so blessed to have you in our family. I can’t wait to see how you are going to be blessed by blessing so many others!! Love you and Seth!
Thank you, Brenda! I’m so thankful to be part of your family as well, thank you for your kind words!
I am so happy and proud of you Becca!! You are an AMAZING one armed woman! My life is so much better that our lives crossed. I am thrilled to follow your journey! ?
Thank you Deanna! That means so much. I’m thrilled to hear that you’ll be following 🙂
Excellent, Becca! I’m eager to continue reading your thoughts.
Thanks, Pastor Dave!
What a wonderful example you are to that little girl! We live in a society so obsessed with the visual. Everywhere she looks, on screens, billboards, magazine racks, etc. are images of the “beautiful & perfect” and we (girls especially) learn at a very young age to compare ourselves to those images and find ourselves lacking. This insight— that REAL people are flawed and REAL love embraces imperfection will stick with her for a lifetime! Thanks for sharing this ☺️
Julie, thank you for commenting! You’re so right – from an incredibly young age, girls are shown and told that they need to look and act a certain way in order to be loved. This is a lie! True love isn’t about subscribing to a perfect model, because we are all imperfect. True love embraces perfection.