Two months ago, we were flying back from Colorado and I was stopped in security by a TSA agent. 

“Could you pull up your sleeve?” she asked me.

I was wearing a baggy sweatshirt, and my right sleeve hung loosely at my side—since I don’t have an arm to fill that sleeve. The agent, of course, didn’t know that. She thought my arm was tucked inside my sweatshirt, which could’ve been some sort of security hazard. By stopping me, she was just doing her job.

But when I pulled up my sleeve to reveal my missing arm, that agent felt bad. Feelings of guilt, misunderstanding, and discomfort were written all over her face. She looked down and nodded. “Okay, you’re good to go.”

Often times, misunderstanding leads to hurt, remorse, or damaged relationships. For someone with a limb difference or other physical difference, these misunderstandings can come more frequently. People don’t always know what to say. And besides that, sometimes they just assume the wrong thing.

This sort of thing happens to me most when I’m wearing long sleeves. I get questions like, “Where’s your arm?” “Why do you have your arm tucked up in your shirt?” “Is your arm broken?”

And inevitably, when people get the truth of what’s going on, they feel bad.

But those of us who are misunderstood have the beautiful gift of being able to love through easing that misunderstanding.

I’ve found that a warm smile, a laugh, and saying, “I was born with one arm. Don’t worry, it’s okay,” can make a big difference in making someone feel comfortable.

Otherwise, things can stay pretty awkward.

All of us are misunderstood at one time or another. The beauty of misunderstanding is when we can step up and say, “It’s okay.” There is love communicated through a phrase even as simple as that.

And, of course, other times we are the ones who have the misunderstanding. We misjudge people. We jump to conclusions. We guess what a book is about based on its cover, no matter how many times we’re told not to. Perhaps it’s human nature.

When we find ourselves in that position, it’s good to stay humble and smile back. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Odds are, that other person will feel better if you can move forward without that awkward moment frozen in your mind.

After all, it’s hard to make a new friend if they can’t get over the time they thought your arm was tucked up in your sleeve, when really your arm was missing altogether.

And never forget… you are onederfully created.

Love,
Becca