I feel like I’m the last person who should be writing a blog post on healthy long-distance friendships. Because to be completely honest, I’m not the greatest at it. I’ve gone months without talking to my closest friends. I’m terrible at texting. I don’t enjoy talking on the phone. And sometimes, it feels like finding time to connect with long-distance friends is next to impossible.

But I decided to write about this anyway because it’s something I’ve been working on. This year I’ve tried to be more intentional in the way I love my friends who are far away. And trust me… I have a lot of really close friends who are really far away.

Still, when I made this goal to be more intentional with my long-distance friends, I knew my solution wasn’t going to be in more text messages and phone calls. Like I said, I’m not great at either of those things. So I came up with several other ways that have helped me connect with the people I love who don’t live so close to me anymore. In some cases, these friends are in different states or even in different countries.

I figured I’d share some of these tips with you, in the hopes that you might find one or two of them helpful in your relationships. And friend, if you have any tips of your own, please share them in the comments below! I’m still definitely learning and growing in this area.

1. Always update your friends on big life changes.

I don’t think you have to have an ongoing text conversation going with all your friends. And I don’t think you have to be committed to calling each other every week. If you do, that’s great! I’m just not there right now.

But I do think it’s important to keep your friends updated when it comes to any major life transitions. Like, if you’re getting married, or moving, or having a baby, or switching jobs, tell your closest friends directly! Don’t let them find out when they see your Instagram post, like all your other followers. Take the extra step and tell them yourself.

2. Use voice messaging to catch up with each other.

Like I said, I don’t like texting and I don’t like calling. I don’t even really like video calls (although, these were a lifesaver when I was living abroad).

But when one of my dear friends was living in India, she asked if I’d want to use voice messaging to communicate with her, since our time zones made actual contact virtually impossible. We used WhatsApp (and I’m sure there are many other apps for this as well) and we’d send each other voice messages when we got the chance, just sharing our lives and prayer requests and other things. We still do this now, and I’ve started doing it with several other friends as well.

The best part of voice messaging, besides the fact that you don’t have to fight your schedules to find a time to talk on the phone, is you can multitask while you do it! It’s like listening to a podcast, and then talking back to it. You can do this while you’re driving, or folding laundry, or washing dishes.

3. Don’t underestimate (or overestimate) the value of social media.

Social media certainly has a place in keeping in touch with friends who live far away. I’ve found a lot of value in it when I use it in the right ways. But I would also caution you not to overestimate the value of social media. It can be such a beautiful gift, but it should not be your only avenue of communication. Real friendships should also be housed outside of a platform like Facebook or Instagram.

4. Send encouraging letters or text messages just to let them know you’re thinking of them.

Have you ever had one of your friends suddenly come to mind? I think it’s a great practice to respond to these random thoughts by randomly sending an encouraging letter or text message to that friend. You might not realize when God is putting that person on your heart for a reason. A supportive and kind note from you might be exactly what they need in that moment. And those little bits of encouragement will help you feel close to each other.

5. Carve out time in your schedule to actually meet face-to-face.

I know this isn’t always possible, but when you can, make time in your schedule to actually see each other—even if it only happens once a year. It might not be convenient, but I’m old-fashioned. I still believe this is the best way to love your friends is to actually spend time with them when you can.

I hope you found some of these tips helpful! And like I said before, please share your own tips in the comments! I’d love advice on this subject as I continue to be more intentional in my friendships. Friendships are such a lovely gift from our Creator, and I don’t want to take mine for granted.

By the way, never forget… you are onederfully created.

Love,
Becca