Sister, if you’re in a brand new relationship, or getting ready for your wedding day, or just now thinking about entering into the dating world, or even if you’ve been married for a while, this post is for you.

This post is for you regardless of what stage you’re at in your relationship.

Because regardless of the nature of your relationship, it’s essential to keep God at the center.

That’s a phrase I think we toss around a lot in the Christian realm… “keep God at the center of your relationship.” And like I said, it is so important to a healthy relationship to keep Him at the center.

But what does that really mean? And even more than that, how can we keep God at the center of our most important relationships?

When Seth and I got married, his sweet sister Kylie made us a beautiful wooden sign with these words from Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”

The entire passage says this: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

The sign includes three ropes fastened to the wood with railroad spikes. During our ceremony, Seth and I braided these three cords together. One cord represents my life, one cord represents Seth’s life, and the third cord—the one in the middle—represents God’s place in our relationship.

The phrase “God at the center of your relationship,” in my opinion, is a little misnamed. God shouldn’t just be at the center of your relationships. God should be braided throughout your relationship. His presence and influence and love should be woven deeply throughout your life, your significant other’s life, your life together, and everywhere in between.

Keeping God at the center simply means putting Him first in your life and in your relationship. It’s relying on His goodness as your foundation. It’s trusting in His provision for your joy. It’s seeing His character and nature as the ultimate example of togetherness.

Keeping God at the center is remembering that all we do—including loving others—we do for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).

So, sweet friend, here are six practical tips for how you can keep God at the center of your relationship. And what I really mean by that is here are six tips to help you keep God woven throughout all you do, together and apart.

1. Pray together (and pray on your own, too).

Prayer is such an important part of a faith journey for an individual and for a couple, because prayer is simply talking to God. Prayer is bringing your thoughts and your requests and your thankfulness before the Savior of the world.

What better way to keep God first in your relationship than to talk to God together?

I’d like to add that it’s still important to pray on your own, too. Talking to God together should never replace time with just you and God. But, talking to God together can be a wonderful addition to your prayer life.

2. Read your Bible together (and read it on your own, too).

Seth and I used to read our Bible together every morning. By together, I mean we’d read the same chapter of the Bible, and then talk about it afterwards.

Now, we still read our Bible together, but we’re reading different books of the Bible. And you know what? That works even better for us. I’ve been in the book of Mark, and Seth’s in the middle of Matthew. We read at different paces, but when we’re finished reading, we can still talk about what we’ve learned and ask questions and reflect together.

Find what works for the two of you, and spend time in God’s word together. And, just like with prayer, make sure you’re still taking time for God’s word on your own as well.

3. Reflect on how God is at work in your relationship and your life together.

I’ve always been a lover of reflection. I have a whole bin of old journals stored in my parents’ spare room closet. From the time I was young, I’ve found so much value in reflection and in writing down what God’s been teaching me.

This is a special practice to do together as well, and it doesn’t require a journal. All you really need is some intentional time to sit down and talk about how God’s been at work in your life together.

How was God in your relationship, from the very beginning? What’s He been teaching the two of you? What do you feel Him leading you to next?

4. Spend time in community with your brothers and sisters in Christ.

Community is such a rich gift. As a couple, it can be tough to find friends who love Jesus that you both enjoy spending time with. But it’s so worth it. Your brothers and sisters in Christ can provide encouragement and advice, and they’re also just a lot of fun to be around. Sometimes, it’s good to spend time with other people besides just the two of you!

If you’re dating or engaged, spending time in community also provides another benefit. Your friends can help hold you accountable in the boundaries you’ve established for your relationship prior to marriage. Also, if you’re in the middle of a season of temptation, it’s better not to entertain that temptation by spending time alone. Group dates can be a major resource.

5. Find an older Christian couple to mentor you.

This is really helpful when you’re engaged and preparing your hearts for marriage. Before Seth and I were married, a sweet couple who’d been married for many years counseled and mentored us. They walked us through a devotional book and talked about some of the struggles that are most common in marriage, and how we can work through those together. But it’s also so helpful in all phases of life and at all stages of your relationship!

6. Start and end the day with your cord of three strands.

This probably applies most to my married couples out there, because if you’re not married, you’re likely not starting and ending each day together.

But if you do start and end the day together, start and end with your cord of three strands. What I mean by this is that you should start and end your day with you, your significant other, and Jesus.

For Seth and I, this looks like reading the Bible together over breakfast in the morning, and reading our devotional books and praying together before we go to sleep at night. But this will certainly look different for everyone.

I hope you found these tips helpful! If you have any other suggestions for how to keep God first in your relationship, please share them in the comments below! I’d love to hear your feedback.

And never forget… you are onederfully created.

Love,
Becca