Can you tie your shoes? Can you paint your nails? Can you put your hair up in a ponytail? Can you swim? Can you drive a car? Can you…?

Right now, I work with children for a living. Kids are fun. They’re curious and they’re constantly processing everything around them, soaking it all in like little sponges. But kids don’t have great filters. They think simply. They ask honest questions, and they expect honest answers.

I’ve been asked these questions many times, and it can be frustrating to be asked the same question over and over again. But my answer to most of the “Can you” questions is easy. Yes.

Yes, I can tie my shoes. In kindergarten, I was the first kid in my class who could tie my own shoes. Yes, I can paint my nails. Yes, I can put my hair up in a ponytail – though I’m no hairstylist and this took me many years to learn. Yes, I can swim, and yes, I can drive.

There are very few things I can’t do, and it’s hard for me to admit when I can’t do something. But for the sake of being vulnerable, and so you can get to know me better, here are a few of my “can’ts”.

1. I can’t walk into a roomful of children without attracting some stares.

Even in a roomful of adults, people will look, and that’s okay. I mean, try not to stare for too long, but I understand.

Everyone is different. Some people are missing an arm or a leg. Some people wear glasses and some have perfect eyesight. People have different hair colors, eye colors, and skin tones. God created us all to be different. We reflect different aspects of His image and character depending on the gifts He’s given us.

Different can be perceived in different ways – neat, scary, exciting, strange, cool, weird, alarming. Different draws in the eyes. It attracts attention.

The problem occurs when “different” becomes “bad.”

2. I can’t ignore the “elephant in the room” for too long.

I’ve learned that I can’t expect people to automatically know I was born with one arm. I have to tell them. Otherwise, they’re left guessing… was she born that way? Was it an accident? Hey… she has blonde hair… was she that surfer who was attacked by a shark a while back?

The sooner I address the elephant in the room, the sooner we can move on to other topics, and the sooner we can start building our relationship.

If I don’t tell you I was born this way, it’s not because I’m uncomfortable. I probably just forgot. I’ve been living with one arm my entire life, so I don’t think anything of it.

3. I can’t deny that God has created me this way for a purpose.

So many of my conversations about Jesus, especially conversations with children, begin with a question about my arm.

Child: What happened to your arm?

Me: I was born with one arm. That’s how God made me, because He makes each one of us different and special and He loves all of us for who we are.

Child: Who is God?

Obviously, most conversations aren’t that simple, but you get the picture.

God is an incredible artist, and He doesn’t make mistakes. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. I know I am created this way for a purpose, and that purpose is to bring glory to Him.

4. I can’t jump rope (at least not very well).

Now for a couple of logistical “can’ts”. Jumping rope is hard, unless two people are holding the ends of the rope. I can jump rope if I duct tape the rope to my “little arm,” but my elementary school gym teachers were pretty opposed to that innovation.

5. I can’t french braid my hair.

I guess I haven’t technically tried, but I’m not really sure how to begin on that one. Maybe that’s a fight for another day…

I’m probably missing a few, but those are the five biggest things I can’t do with one arm.

As you reflect on your own list of “can’ts”, know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

God made no mistake when creating you. He gave you “can’ts” because He never intended for you to do life alone. There is beauty in our limitations.

It’s good for me to be humble from time to time and let my mom braid my hair again, like she did when I was a child.

And it’s okay if once in a while, I have to answer “No” to a “Can you” question.

So friend, it’s okay to have “can’ts”, but even still… never forget that you are onederfully created.

Love,
Becca